Lonely

She sat with a cup of coffee in the balcony of her duplex flat situated on the 17th floor of one of the most lavish buildings on College Street. The streets below were covered with snow flakes. It had snowed heavily last night. The snowfall did not excite her anymore. She remembered her first snowfall; about which she was so excited; though she was alone that time too, yet she had called up all her friends and family members in India trying her best to give them a picturesque description of the surroundings. She clicked a hundred snaps and uploaded them on facebook keenly explaining the significance of each snap. She was alone that time as well- way back in 2008, but she was not lonely. She had her college friends, office friends, social networking friends and they too had the time to talk to her. Today they all are busy in their own lives and she is lonely. She logged into her facebook account today after four long years. She remembered her password very well “AB910”. This was an unforgettable combination for her, a combination of “his” initials and date of birth and this served as her passwords for most of the applications for twelve long years. She browsed through her facebook wall. The last updates were somewhere from 2010. Anjali, Gauri, Vikas, Shalabh….. Most of them had left her messages “Where are you? Contact me as soon as possible” She browsed through her friends’ profiles. Most of them were now married and some even had kids. She felt good to see those albums. She returned to her wall posts and scrolled to previous messages. There were more than a hundred “Where are you?” “Miss you” “Contact soon” messages from her friends. There were a few wedding invites as well. Her eyes finally stopped at the message that she had last received; the message after which she had not logged into any social networking site; the message after which she had decided to move ahead in her carrier and shift to Toronto; the message which had changed her life…. “Hi...Darling, I am sorry to say that our dreams may never come true. In fact, I had stopped dreaming about you a few months back when she came into my life. I do not feel that this is the apt time to disclose who “she” is…but yeah, I can’t really think much about you since she came into my life. I wish you all the luck to move ahead in life. You have the potential; I know you will fare well in your professional life and find a worthy life partner for yourself. Thanks for all your love these years. I am moving to Adelaide. Good bye and God bless” She tried his mobile a hundred times after she read this, but it was never reachable. She left him scraps on orkut, offline messages in gmail and skype; but none was ever replied to. She tried to post back on his wall in facebook; but the message flashed “This profile does not exist anymore”. She was aghast. She tried contacting common friends and gathering information about his whereabouts, but everyone seemed to be as shocked as she was. They visited his place, they had sold the house. The new owners just knew that the earlier occupants have left India. She was left devastated. They had been friends since the sixth standard in school. They joined college together. They shared the same bench in college, the same tiffin box, notes, the same pair of glares..it was not very unlikely that they soon shared their heart as well. When they disclosed this at home, their families were happy and had given their consent to tie the knots as soon as they get into their job. After college, they were campus-recruited to the same company, but different projects. A year later she had to go onsite to Toronto. She was thrilled and he had done all the packing for her. He was there at the airport to see her off. Both of them bade good bye to each other with tear-filled eyes. She was going there for a year. They had promised to write to each other twice a day, to have video-chats everyday and she had promised to bring him all the electronic gadgets he had asked for. Things went fine for the first 5-6 months. Then he started missing video calls. The frequency of mails reduced slowly for two per day to two per week. She was upset about it, she tried to speak to him about this; but he had his excuses of work pressure, cruel boss, deadlines. She consoled herself and tried to understand his problems. Finally she declared the date…. “I am returning to India on Feb 23rd 2010”. This message flashed as her status update on every possible site. She made sure that she had brought all the gadgets he had asked for… she did her final bit of shopping for home, chocolates for her cousins and friends and a special pack of chocolates for him. Everything for him, everything about him was special after all. In the flight way back to India, she planned about her wedding. She would ask her mom-dad to talk to his parents now and fix the date. She reached the Indira Gandhi international airport at 5 in the evening. Her entire gang was there, but her eyes were looking for her “special” one. Her friends told her that he had some important work at office and would see her the next day… Three months passed by like this. They met sometimes. She could feel the gap, but she could not understand the reason. She tried to talk and clarify the reason, but they hardly had time to speak. He said that he needed some more time before they got married. Then finally Oct 15th 2010….. he left her this message on facebook and disappeared in the air. She held a mixed bag of emotions. Anger, Anxiety, disheartened, sad…. She simply could not console herself, nor could her parents and friends console her. It was too great a loss… She had no other friend in Adelaide, and after all it was not so easy to look for a person in Adelaide without any other information about him. She had begun to accept life as it was. She drowned herself completely on work. She was labeled “workaholic”, “Miss Lonely” as well as the “Performer of the year” for the last consecutive years. Neither was she sad, nor was she joyous… One day she received an email from an id SS0608@gmail.com SS0608 used to be “his” password just like AB910 was hers. She quickly opened that mail with trembling fingers. It had no text… a blank mail with two zip folders. One had innumerous letters addressed to her. There were notepads with dates chronically arranged and the other one had medical reports, scanned x-ray reports. She roughly made out that he was unwell and it was something serious. Then she noticed the letter head of the medical bills. St. George Cancer Institute, Adelaide, Australia. She went pale!! With great courage she dialed the number mentioned on the bill and with a shaky voice she enquired about him to the receptionist. The receptionist answered “Oh, he passed away just 15 minutes back. I am just preparing the death certificate. He died of brain cancer. Now she understood that who was the one who had come into his life…she cried…cried her heart out…and read all the letters he sent. Each letter stated that he loved her and missed her all the time...missed her badly during the painful chemotherapy sessions… Tears rolled down….. It had begun to snow again and she was lonely…

Sandels..

It was not long since they had shifted in the flat next to ours..Mrs and Mr Das with their little daughter Anjali. Anjali was like a little angel. I used to see her walk to the sea beach with her dad and play there for hours together in the shallow water at the juhu beach..She was like I was in my childhood days..
Frankly she told me that she feared to go further in the water coz she feared the waves.Mrs. Das once told me that when Anjali was a toddler she used to step down so carefully from the bed,she kept observing her feet till it touched the ground..Never had she fallen of the bed.Never had she fallen while learning cycling..such a cautious,sweet lil darling she was..long hair,chubby cheeks and a soothing smile...
It was her seventh birthday,when she asked me for a playing kit. The playing kit comprised spades,sand diggers,small buckets and all such stuffs which are used to make sand castles at sea beaches. And she had asked her mom for the beautiful pink sandels which she had seen in the nearby footwear shop. Those pink sandels would go perfectly with her pink dress which she was planning to wear for her birthday in school.
We went shopping together,Mrs.Das, Anjali and myself..Had a great day.Had loads of fun.Shopping,eating enjoying ourselves we spent the whole day out.We were happy,but may be destiny was not....
We came out of the mall with the shopping bags in our hands.Lil Anjali thought she is going to be a big girl soon and hence did not need her mumma's hand to cross the road..She ran..and we screamed..It was all in a fraction of seconds..A reckless car driver just thrashed her on the road and zooooom went the tyres over her legs..
Crowd,blood,ambulance,panic..we rushed to the hospital. Mr.Das had come by that time.Their daughter was in pain..immense pain..no one more than the parents could feel it.I consoled them as much as I could,but I loved Anjali too...loved her a lot..hence could not keep myself strong for long.
The doctor came and announced.."The child has gained consciousness,but I am sorry,we need to operate the leg.She won't be able to walk on her feet anymore". Gloom!!!!!! Despair!!!! Mrs.Das fainted there.Anjali's dad had eyes filled with tears.We went inside the room.Anjali lay there..calm..little knowing about her future.Her papa took her in her arms..She smiled at us.She asked her mom for the packet of sandles.Mr.Das was taking her to the operation theater..She had the bag of sandels in her hand..the packet fell down..and Anjali shouted "My Sandels.......!!!!".
I bent and picked them up,gave them in her hands and she smiled back..I wondered..what would she be missing more? Her foot or the pink sandels?