To-do list

Charles and Katie were married four years now. They had been living a happy married life with a lovely kid – Mia.


Since the day Katie had walked into Charles’ life, though Charles did not realize, his life had become a little more smooth and managed. All his utility bills were paid on time, no penalties in his credit cards. He seemed to wish al his friends without failure on their birthdays. He was on time for every possible event- on time to office, on time to the station, on time to meet Katie.

He hardly realized that along with his best friend Katie was also playing the role of her calendar-cum-reminder. However Katie did not have to spend much of effort doing that. She was spick and span with all her chores right from her school days. Right since she was six, her teachers have said that Katie never ever needed a single reminder. Even if it was about bringing a red-pen to school the next day, Katie never forgot that.

With the course of time Charles discovered that the key to all this timeliness and perfection was a small diary that Katie maintained. Charles slyly opened the diary one day after they had been married two years. He was on the floor rolling with laughter after he flipped a few pages. It was the diary in which Katie had maintained her “To-do” list since years. The initial pages had tasks like “submit assignment”, “a canteen treat pending for James”, “Dad’s coat from the laundry”, “chocolates for Kris”, “ a pair of jeans for self” etc…. And the more recent pages were like “Charles’ credit card bill”, “oats for Charles”, “weekend planning with Charles’ mom”, “Mia’s favorite soup this Sunday”, “ a new jacket for Charles”, “Railway coupons and grocery” “Cornflakes for self”, “laundry this weekend”….. When Katie entered their bedroom, she could see Charles rolling on the ground laughing his heart away. She could not understand the matter. When Charles saw his startled wife, he continued to laugh and said “Honey, you need a to-do list to remember all this day-to-day stuff?” Katie stayed calm and replied, “I had been doing this right since I had been taught to do so by one of my convent teachers”. She took the diary from him, slid it back to her drawer and continued with her day-to-day chores.

Days went by. Life could not have been better and smoother. Mia was growing to be as disciplined as her mom. Charles never missed the opportunity to call Katie as her “Alarm clock” or “calendar”. He at times even told his friends, “my wife notes down in her diary that she has to breathe and that she has to kiss me tonight”. Hs friends enjoyed the joke while Katie stayed silent.

On her thirtieth birthday, Charles bought a new dress for her. He wanted her to wear the dress for dinner. The dress was a gorgeous one. When Katie came out of her dressing room wearing the dress, Charles shrieked “O my God! Did I get a wrong size Katie? You need at least two sizes smaller than this one! Please not it down in your to-do list that you would need to get this altered.”

Mia noticed her mom writhe away and come back draped in another dress. This did not befit her well, but it kind of concealed the loose fittings.

Katie lost weight day by day. Charles was worried and he took her to a doctor. The results were all fine. Charles had no clue why Katie had become so quiet and weak in the recent past. One morning Charles woke up to see Katie still asleep. He kissed her forehead and shivered to find her cold as ice. He immediately summoned for the doctor and within an hour she was declared a corpse. She died of silent attack. She was depressed.

Charles cried. He and Mia were feeling so lonely without their calendar, without their alarm clock.

One evening after Charles was back early from office and Mia was at her music classes, Charles opened Katie’s drawer and saw the small old diary. He missed Katie. He remembered how he at times forgot to pack Mia’s lunch box, how he forgot to keep the soiled dishes back in the sink, how he forgot to keep the milk back in the refrigerator. Tears rolled down his cheek and in the blur of his tears he could read;

To-do

- To try my best to be happy and not let Charles understand that I am sad

- To alter all my old clothes to fit me again

- To slowly hand over Mia’s tasks to Charles

- To wear Charles favorite white gown to bed the night I feel the heart pain to be too much

- To cuddle Charles to sleep when I get the indication that probably this is the last time…….

Lonely

She sat with a cup of coffee in the balcony of her duplex flat situated on the 17th floor of one of the most lavish buildings on College Street. The streets below were covered with snow flakes. It had snowed heavily last night. The snowfall did not excite her anymore. She remembered her first snowfall; about which she was so excited; though she was alone that time too, yet she had called up all her friends and family members in India trying her best to give them a picturesque description of the surroundings. She clicked a hundred snaps and uploaded them on facebook keenly explaining the significance of each snap. She was alone that time as well- way back in 2008, but she was not lonely. She had her college friends, office friends, social networking friends and they too had the time to talk to her. Today they all are busy in their own lives and she is lonely. She logged into her facebook account today after four long years. She remembered her password very well “AB910”. This was an unforgettable combination for her, a combination of “his” initials and date of birth and this served as her passwords for most of the applications for twelve long years. She browsed through her facebook wall. The last updates were somewhere from 2010. Anjali, Gauri, Vikas, Shalabh….. Most of them had left her messages “Where are you? Contact me as soon as possible” She browsed through her friends’ profiles. Most of them were now married and some even had kids. She felt good to see those albums. She returned to her wall posts and scrolled to previous messages. There were more than a hundred “Where are you?” “Miss you” “Contact soon” messages from her friends. There were a few wedding invites as well. Her eyes finally stopped at the message that she had last received; the message after which she had not logged into any social networking site; the message after which she had decided to move ahead in her carrier and shift to Toronto; the message which had changed her life…. “Hi...Darling, I am sorry to say that our dreams may never come true. In fact, I had stopped dreaming about you a few months back when she came into my life. I do not feel that this is the apt time to disclose who “she” is…but yeah, I can’t really think much about you since she came into my life. I wish you all the luck to move ahead in life. You have the potential; I know you will fare well in your professional life and find a worthy life partner for yourself. Thanks for all your love these years. I am moving to Adelaide. Good bye and God bless” She tried his mobile a hundred times after she read this, but it was never reachable. She left him scraps on orkut, offline messages in gmail and skype; but none was ever replied to. She tried to post back on his wall in facebook; but the message flashed “This profile does not exist anymore”. She was aghast. She tried contacting common friends and gathering information about his whereabouts, but everyone seemed to be as shocked as she was. They visited his place, they had sold the house. The new owners just knew that the earlier occupants have left India. She was left devastated. They had been friends since the sixth standard in school. They joined college together. They shared the same bench in college, the same tiffin box, notes, the same pair of glares..it was not very unlikely that they soon shared their heart as well. When they disclosed this at home, their families were happy and had given their consent to tie the knots as soon as they get into their job. After college, they were campus-recruited to the same company, but different projects. A year later she had to go onsite to Toronto. She was thrilled and he had done all the packing for her. He was there at the airport to see her off. Both of them bade good bye to each other with tear-filled eyes. She was going there for a year. They had promised to write to each other twice a day, to have video-chats everyday and she had promised to bring him all the electronic gadgets he had asked for. Things went fine for the first 5-6 months. Then he started missing video calls. The frequency of mails reduced slowly for two per day to two per week. She was upset about it, she tried to speak to him about this; but he had his excuses of work pressure, cruel boss, deadlines. She consoled herself and tried to understand his problems. Finally she declared the date…. “I am returning to India on Feb 23rd 2010”. This message flashed as her status update on every possible site. She made sure that she had brought all the gadgets he had asked for… she did her final bit of shopping for home, chocolates for her cousins and friends and a special pack of chocolates for him. Everything for him, everything about him was special after all. In the flight way back to India, she planned about her wedding. She would ask her mom-dad to talk to his parents now and fix the date. She reached the Indira Gandhi international airport at 5 in the evening. Her entire gang was there, but her eyes were looking for her “special” one. Her friends told her that he had some important work at office and would see her the next day… Three months passed by like this. They met sometimes. She could feel the gap, but she could not understand the reason. She tried to talk and clarify the reason, but they hardly had time to speak. He said that he needed some more time before they got married. Then finally Oct 15th 2010….. he left her this message on facebook and disappeared in the air. She held a mixed bag of emotions. Anger, Anxiety, disheartened, sad…. She simply could not console herself, nor could her parents and friends console her. It was too great a loss… She had no other friend in Adelaide, and after all it was not so easy to look for a person in Adelaide without any other information about him. She had begun to accept life as it was. She drowned herself completely on work. She was labeled “workaholic”, “Miss Lonely” as well as the “Performer of the year” for the last consecutive years. Neither was she sad, nor was she joyous… One day she received an email from an id SS0608@gmail.com SS0608 used to be “his” password just like AB910 was hers. She quickly opened that mail with trembling fingers. It had no text… a blank mail with two zip folders. One had innumerous letters addressed to her. There were notepads with dates chronically arranged and the other one had medical reports, scanned x-ray reports. She roughly made out that he was unwell and it was something serious. Then she noticed the letter head of the medical bills. St. George Cancer Institute, Adelaide, Australia. She went pale!! With great courage she dialed the number mentioned on the bill and with a shaky voice she enquired about him to the receptionist. The receptionist answered “Oh, he passed away just 15 minutes back. I am just preparing the death certificate. He died of brain cancer. Now she understood that who was the one who had come into his life…she cried…cried her heart out…and read all the letters he sent. Each letter stated that he loved her and missed her all the time...missed her badly during the painful chemotherapy sessions… Tears rolled down….. It had begun to snow again and she was lonely…

162 LIG Barra 2 Single Storey Kanpur-208027

Life is a mixture of good and bad moments... If you can express what you are feeling at the moment,trust me, it's really good for your health..but many a times, we need to refrain from expressing...'coz our expressions may bring down someone's morale,sadden someone or may be..to say in simple words hurt someone.. I can't assure that I have never hurt anyone..knowingly-unknowingly I may have,but yeah..that happens only when I am hurt..when I feel low...that time the only friend I look upto is my lappy and my blog..
I am missing home...badly..Home is where maa papa and granny stay..true...but my home was 162 LIG, Barra-2,Single Storey,Kanpur-208027... and I miss it a lot.. some things go away never to come back again..
My home was not a very beautiful one...not a very well maintained one..maa kept it as tidy as possible..papa decorated it with lights on diwali..dadaji used to sit at the gate in the evenings and almost every passer by said "namaste sahab"..I can still see Amma cooking in the kitchen and humming bhajans...I can still see myself coming from school tired and lying down on the bed and dadaji askin"kya baat buchiya..thak gayi? " :(
My home was as old as me..27 years..dadaji had made it after he bought the plot in 1983...the walls..the ceiling..the iron channel..the most unique gate in the entire neighbourhood..plants...earlier we had a parrot...which was an attraction.."hello mithu..good morning mithu.." all the time it used to chant..
I had spent happy,sad,victorious moments in that house..it was that house which welcomed me every time I entered with my report card..when I came back from the hostel..when I came after getting campus placed.. It was that house that seemed to cry when I was leaving for Mumbai...
Yeah my home spoke to me...yeah it really did :( No one liked it as much as I did..But, I was the one who took the initiative to tell dad to sell it.It had actually become necessary..I am bad naa? People who say I am stone hearted,emotionless are right...I get too practical at times..
But..home dear home..I miss you... :( Our new house is bigger than you..they say prettier than you..but i still love you more...and will always do..always...I will never go to that lane...may be I break down :( But I have your snaps...
Everything happens in life for a reason...may be if i had not lost you, my aim to buy a house for maa papa and granny would not have strengthened to such an extent.. It is my primary goal in life now.. you are and will always be an irreplaceable part of my life..most of my user ids are sanchi162...and I am never going to change them..
Love u and miss u hell lots...

Deadline

Not a new word for most of you...right? "An urgent issue.. to be resolved in next two hours", " This has to be finished today EOD", "Deadline to release this patch is 1 week"... These are the most common statements that you must have heard your supervisor or manager say most of the time. At times I feel that they are like some code themselves in which a function of "Show Alert" is called whenever the client calls them up and asks to finish something :) and the "Show Alert" block comprises methods like "Leaves canceled" "No coffee breaks" "Weekend Working"...so on and so forth....Wow!! so well I know the managerial class of people by now.. 3.2 years of IT experience huh!!
Well, this time my managers gave me a very different kind of deadline...It was actually not a deadline.. it was a "line" which if I crossed, i would be "dead"..simple enough ha? 22nd October 2010... friday..appraisal discussion..my supervisor and my delivery manager called me to the delivery manager's cabin..

Act I Scene 1:
Delivery manager: Lady, you are not performing..
Me: Why sir, what made you think so? I mean, whatever task I have been given till date, I have finished all on or even before time.
Supervisor: I have hardly given you any task.
Me: And may I know the reason please?
Supervisor: Because, i did not have that confidence in you that you will be able to give the desired output.
Me: Can you give it a try?
Delivery Manager(In a rude and insulting tone): Ok, lets give her 2 weeks..if we find her up to the mark, then ok..else I think you should try for big companies...that's where you have come from..and I think that kind of environment suits you..you are not fit for this organization.
Me: ?????????? Totally puzzled....
I mean what?? I am not good at work and I am suitable for big companies?? What was that??I was confused..whether to take is as a compliment or comment..
Well...I took it as a DEADLINE....dear...2 weeks...then you are gone...at such times there are a few people whom i prefer to contact immediately...my best friend Ajay,my Supervisor at my previous "big company" Vivek and my 24*7 help desk Arham...

Act I Scene 2:
I rush home.. Vivek told me about walkin at one of the "big" companies the very next day...that night I studied like a student who forgot his examination date and somehow came to know just a day before the exam... One full book to finish..CV to be edited..print outs needed...tensed, perplexed and determined..I studied.. I told dad about the hell I was in and told him not to tell mom....could not eat..could not sleep..so huge was the fear of being jobless in 2 weeks..

Act II Scene 1: Saturday, 23rd Oct 2010
Well,I am the only player in this scene... Ajay,Vivek,Dad,Bittu Da,Shipra and other morale boosters are working at the back end..Interview at one "big" company.No food no water since morning..I was so damn tensed..I would have puked if i took in anything ..1st round...2nd round...hunger...still waiting...hunger..tension..sleepy..then finally the HR declares that the 3rd and the final round would be telephonic...Relaxed...not because I had cleared 2 rounds..but because I could rush to bhaia's place now and have food!!!!

Act II Scene 2
Monday..Tuesday...days were passing like hell.. I used to sit right next to my supervisor..and he had given me a "Maha faltu" kind of a task to check my ability...I don't know what ability...coding ability or patience ability..All the time I used to wait for the HR's phone call for the last and final round.. Well, it was scheduled on Wednesday..27th Oct 2010..I cleared it!!!yesssssssss!!!!! and within the next two hours i got the job confirmation in that "big" company..It was a verbal confirmation though...I was still waiting for the offer letter.Wednesday went well..Thursday...day by day that guy's attitude towards me was becoming awful..I ran away from office..could not take the insults any more...

Act II Scene 3: 29th Oct 2010
Friday...I messaged him.."I wont be able to come to office..not well enough..please allow me to work from home.." He replied "I am sorry..i am not sure of your productivity..can't allow you to work from home..please apply for leave"... Another good time to have measured the boiling point of blood...Back again to serious studies..there was another walk in the next day at another "big" company..and to be very specific..the fifth largest company of the world...And yeah...I also received the offer letter from the company at which I was given a verbal confirmation two days back..Confidence level increased..

Act III Scene 1: 30th Oct 2010
Immense confidence...interview.. first round..second round..no hunger this time coz I had had a packet of maggi as breakfast..third round.."Congratulations..you are through..will soon give you a call for salary negotiation.." Party time!!!!! I had already drafted my resignation while my blood was boiling the previous day and it showed very well in the mail... Came home..opened my mailbox/drafts and clicked the "send" button with pride...

This is how it happens my dear friends...you must have heard your managers saying.."Be proactive"...This was proactiveness...I was asked to look for 1 job in 2 weeks...and keeping in mind my manager's words "Probably you are meant to work in "big" companies"...I managed to get myself 2 jobs in 1 week...

Happy...content..and confident!!!!! Happy diwali..

Sandels..

It was not long since they had shifted in the flat next to ours..Mrs and Mr Das with their little daughter Anjali. Anjali was like a little angel. I used to see her walk to the sea beach with her dad and play there for hours together in the shallow water at the juhu beach..She was like I was in my childhood days..
Frankly she told me that she feared to go further in the water coz she feared the waves.Mrs. Das once told me that when Anjali was a toddler she used to step down so carefully from the bed,she kept observing her feet till it touched the ground..Never had she fallen of the bed.Never had she fallen while learning cycling..such a cautious,sweet lil darling she was..long hair,chubby cheeks and a soothing smile...
It was her seventh birthday,when she asked me for a playing kit. The playing kit comprised spades,sand diggers,small buckets and all such stuffs which are used to make sand castles at sea beaches. And she had asked her mom for the beautiful pink sandels which she had seen in the nearby footwear shop. Those pink sandels would go perfectly with her pink dress which she was planning to wear for her birthday in school.
We went shopping together,Mrs.Das, Anjali and myself..Had a great day.Had loads of fun.Shopping,eating enjoying ourselves we spent the whole day out.We were happy,but may be destiny was not....
We came out of the mall with the shopping bags in our hands.Lil Anjali thought she is going to be a big girl soon and hence did not need her mumma's hand to cross the road..She ran..and we screamed..It was all in a fraction of seconds..A reckless car driver just thrashed her on the road and zooooom went the tyres over her legs..
Crowd,blood,ambulance,panic..we rushed to the hospital. Mr.Das had come by that time.Their daughter was in pain..immense pain..no one more than the parents could feel it.I consoled them as much as I could,but I loved Anjali too...loved her a lot..hence could not keep myself strong for long.
The doctor came and announced.."The child has gained consciousness,but I am sorry,we need to operate the leg.She won't be able to walk on her feet anymore". Gloom!!!!!! Despair!!!! Mrs.Das fainted there.Anjali's dad had eyes filled with tears.We went inside the room.Anjali lay there..calm..little knowing about her future.Her papa took her in her arms..She smiled at us.She asked her mom for the packet of sandles.Mr.Das was taking her to the operation theater..She had the bag of sandels in her hand..the packet fell down..and Anjali shouted "My Sandels.......!!!!".
I bent and picked them up,gave them in her hands and she smiled back..I wondered..what would she be missing more? Her foot or the pink sandels?

Mixed Bag....

Writing after a long time..last 10 days were pathetic..Met with a serious accident in which my left leg was badly damaged..Well, I am recovering now..almost recovered...only the stiffness in the leg still remains..it was bandaged since the past ten days..so the doc says that blood circulation would take some time to get back to normal..My friends were a great support.
I and Shipra were going to a nearby mall for a movie when the auto rickshaw tuppled..tuppled at 90 degrees straight on the uneven road.I fell on the ground and the rick fell over me...Thanks to Ajay and Ankur for their timely help..Shipra would not have been able to manage all alone..but she also cared a lot at home...damn it I had vomited on her bedsheet...which she cleaned!!yukkkks!!!! Hey shipra...thanks yaar :( I needed full bedrest,so mumma had to come over...poor lady...coming all over from Kanpur to Mumbai to take care of me..Its rightly said "God can not be present eveverywhere,so he made mothers"... Love you mom..love you a lot..Wounds had started healing,when yester-evening I came to know about Ajay's accident..why does it always have to happen this way?? Any ill happening to me has to happen to him..that too with more severity..he got 5 stiches on the chin!!! My God!! His skin is sooo sensitive...blood oozes out even if he scratches hard..and 5 stiches!!!!!!!It must have been pathetic..No one to take care of him and he acts "Mr. Brave" as if nothing has happened..Am feeling so low since yesternight...
Well,came to office today...hoping that will be working for 5-6 hours a day and then leave for home..My leaves are all exhausted..and fit and fine I am..no other problem other that a bit swollen leg..It would have been so silly to sit at home uselessly...but.......nothing goes smooth... My delivery manager says..."either you stay at home and rest or you come and work for full 9 hours!!!" Phew!!!
So, I am carrying a mixed bag of emotions...
1) Proud of myself..for being a good and brave girl and recovering so soon
2) Obliged towards my family and friends(especially Ajay,Ankur and Shipra)
3) Happy coz no more yukkks medicines and turmeric wala milk
4) Damn damn sad for my best friend Ajay...hey...get well soon yaar :(
5) Angry....very very angry for the silly IT rules...even if you have no work...come and sit in office for 9 hours or stay at home for no reason and get your salary deducted..There is no midway out!!

It's for you my friend..

Hello everyone,
Writing after a long time I suppose....well,whenever I write I am at the brim of my emotions..sad,happy..whatever..Today I am carrying a mixed bag...I am sad,because I lost something forever and I am happy because I learnt something forever..And always remember one thing..people come into your life,people go..but your learnings and experiences are something which will remain with you lifelong..More you learn,the better person you become...Well,enough of "gyaan" :)
Many of you must have seen "Toy Story-3"..Its about a child who had his toys,those toys were his best friends,and now when he grew up,he had to abandon those toys and give them away to someone else....ooooooo..tough..yes indeed very very tough!!! For a girl like me who is possesive even about her chocolate wrappers(you may be knowing about this if you have read my testimonial on orkut written by one of my uncles),it's very very tough to give away something precious to a person whom I don't even know..never even seen....well,I did that today....Yess..I finally did it..I gave away my most precious toy to someone who needed it more than me..I had enjoyed my share of moments of playing with that toy of mine...now,it's some other child's turn to enjoy..and its high time for Miss Sanchaita Sarkar to grow up :)
My tag line on skype is "My mind tells me to give up..but my heart won't allow.." and a colleague once sent a mail saying "Whenever there is confusion between which is correct..mind or heart...just judge...what are you better at". I asked him,how do I know that? He asked me "how were you at studies?" I replied.."I was pretty good".then he asked "Have you ever done some big kind of daan or something.." I said "Nooooooo"....he concluded,"Then you are good at your mind.. " :) Hey Sharad,I did a big daan today yaar....now what..now you tell me whether I have a good mind or a good heart :)
After finally deciding that yeah..this toy is now getting bored with me,it needs a new child who can play with it..i felt so sad for the toy..I had tortured it so much..the little toy seemed to smile after long long time..yeah,it must be sad for leaving me(I mean I am not very sure :),they had so shown in the movie that the toys were sad to leave the child..so I concluded..haha :) ).
Now comes in the final hero of the story.....I did a great job by giving away the toy...but the motivation behind it was Ajay...my best friend Ajay...he taught me "If any action done by you can bring a smile on someone else's face,even if it fetches tears to your eyes..do it." I did it Ajay,I did it..many faces are lightened up today...many..yes there are tears in my eyes ofcourse..but the world seems to be glittering in those tears..Thanks,for teaching me such a nice lesson..I will always remember it "Khud ke liye jeeye to kya jeeye...kabhi auro ke liye bhi jee ke dekho".It's an amazing feeling...I feel I have lost a lot..but I have gained a lot as well.So,a million dollar thanks to you my dear friend..for everything..you are the best friend,philosopher and guide I could ever get.. Yeah,I am a bit lazy at maintaining contacts..but I remember everyone in my heart..You will soon be married and I tell you,married life is a hell busy one..(hehe..speaking as if I am so experienced)..but yeah,its a fact..it is indeed tough to maintain contacts with all friends at a later stage in life...I may not even be able to attend your marriage..but this post which is especially dedicated to you goes as your wedding gift..(saste mein nipat gayi naa...hehehe)....but,you know the cost right..? Not so sasta..Lemme know how you liked my gift..
And for all my friends out there,if you want a similar wedding gift..don't just sit there like couch potatoes..teach me something,add to my personality...may be there will be a post for you as well :)Till date,Ajay deserved one :)Not to forget mentioning names of few friends who had been with me in the toughest of my times.thanks Ankur,thanks Manju,thanks Shipra,thanks Chunu,thanks Arham,thanks Ashish,thanks A1 and A2 bhaia and thanks Gautam...(milega milega tum sab ko bhi milega gift)
Good luck Ajay....and wish you a very happy married life..God bless!!!
PS:- A request to all those who leave comments on this blog..I want all of you to wish my friend on this auspicious occassion..this would add on to my gift :) And for you Ajay...you lazy lump..you got to thank each of them in turn..naak mat katana meri..samajh mein aaya :)
Bbye..........

To be or not to be........

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remember'd.

Here I am

Hello....
Not much of work today..infact,frankly speaking no work today ;) Came to office at 12:40 pm...which is around 40 minutes late than usual...and as of now no work at all...I hate online studying...So, I am waiting for 2:30 pm...so that I can go out for lunch..and as far as work is concerned..I will be receiving a file at 11:20 am EST..which makes it around 8:45 pm IST..I have to work upon that..till then simply no work today...
How did I land here? Interesting story to be narrated..It's 2:07 pm and I have to wind up by 2:30 pm..I don't wanna make Shipra wait for lunch and I don't like to leave drafted blogs..once I begin to write..I end up by pressing the "publish post" button..So, here I begin...
It all began in March 2006....I was enjoying a nice evening nap in my hostel room...when someone came in "Hey...get up..Satyam is coming for a placement pool..we need to go to Allahabad tomorrow.." What rubbish!! never had any company come for our seniors,why would they come for us...rumour spreaders all around!! But,to be true...it left me with a thought "Sacchi aa rahi hai kya? ;)" All 4 of us..Garima,Shipra,Savita and myself got up reluctantly...somebody told.."Satyam's written comprises puzzles". And woooooo..you could see everyone in the hostel with a "Shakuntala Devi puzzle book" in their hands...I went,washed my face...by then Shipra and Savita had seriously started off...It was very boring...seriously very boring...I went to another friend's room and began to frame the Curriculum Vitaes for all four of us...Seriously..four of us had same CVs..we had same objectives,same skills and same hobbies!! :)
We went to Allahabad...all companies used to come to one of the colleges there "United College Of Engineering and Research"...Well,people appeared for the written..people passed..people failed...as for me and Garima...our luck failed..The hall tickets(kind of admit card)that we were given was fake!!Our entire IT Branch had got fake hall tickets..so we could not appear for the test..Wow!! thank God I didn't study those puzzles ;).When other students were waiting for their interview results to be declared, the unlucky(or may be lucky) bunch of IT students from Northern India Engineering College were enjoying the cool Ganges breezes at the Naini Bridge...beautiful it was...Ahh!! I am getting nostalgic!! Well...we came back...some of our batch mates were placed...to be true..yes..I felt bad when I saw some less deserving people with a job in their pockets...so the strive had begun now...
Next HCL Technologies came in...Uffffffff!! Such a tough written test they had set up...obviously I could not pass..no regrets whatsoever...
Then came in Syntel...I tell you,that was the best question paper I had ever seen...all full of silly mathematical questions and easy vocabulary...I did well..but.......Syntel had to select only 3 students among I don't know how many thousands...again a trip to the Naini bridge and then back to Lucknow...
The world was seeming to be a dark room filled with despair..Some more of our batchmates had been placed by now and comments like "Ho jaega...dont worry..kismat hai.."etc etc had started to pour in..It's actually pathetic when people come to you with basket full of sympathies...
Then came Birla Soft..another tough paper...I wont be able to solve it even if it's given to me now..what minute details of RDBMS and OS and what not!! Well,Siddhartha qualified the written..and as for me,Garima and Shipra..we concluded "Hamari job kabhi nai lag sakti.." Given up!! Savita did that long back :)
Soon came in the news...Infy is coming...I requested these two to try luck once..one last time..we went like brave soldiers.....bad experience again...Now,I gave up.."I will never go in for any company...finish!!!!!!" I am a good for nothing...
Then...7th July 2006..I-flex came in...I had decided not to go..I was resting at home..enjoying the semester break...even mom dad had given up..they are always like that..joyous in my happiness and doomed in my despair..love you mom dad!! A friend called up..."Chalo na ghoom ke aate hain Allahabad..please.." Reluctantly,I went..appeared for the test..had not studied a single word after the Syntel experience(no doubt the Birla Soft paper seemed tough ;))..well I qualified the written test...8th of July 2006 was supposed to be the day for the interviews..Morale had boosted up by now.."If I clear the technical...no ways will I fail in the HR". Yeah..my friends used to call me "Confidence ki tokri"..So,technical,HR all cleared..and I was holding the offer letter of I-flex Solutions Ltd. in my hands by 9:00 pm on 8th of July 2006...First time I came from Allahabad "non empty handed"......
Final year of college was better now...got a chance to enjoy more..lesser worries..had a job in hand...Joined I-flex on 13th August 2007...must say,I enjoyed and learned a lot...had a nice time,met some of the best people of my life there...but.....after 2.8 years..I began to get bored..with what? work? Nahh..with the salary!!!!!!
Then began another phase..naukri.com,monsterjob.com etc etc...TCS was my first experience..they needed testers..I was a developer...doomed!!
Then came a "growing company"...I went to their teenie-meenie office..and after looking at my profile they said "Sorry Ma'm we can not afford you."Oh wow!!!I deserved a pat on the back ;)
Then Syntel again....didn't make for it...then Cognizant..was not eligible for it...then one fine day.....when my blood had almost reached the boiling point..I had just reached home after a tiring day at office...my cell buzzed..."Hi,this is Immaculate from Indus Valley Partners". Frankly speaking,I was so tired that neither did I get the lady's name nor the company's :) Well..went through a couple of rounds of interview...and here I am.......Going for lunch..
Bbye...take care..

The cat and the rabbit

Let me narrate to you a short story..Well, I don't promise it would be short one, because I often end up writing long write-ups..so my readers are requested to bear up:)
In the beautiful meadows there lived two friends...a kitten and a baby rabbit..They were the best of friends..innocent,understanding,with a heart brimming with love and care for each other..The rabbit was often threatened by his clan to keep himself away from the clever kitten..They thought that the kitten might harm their baby when she grew up into a cat..The rabbit did get frightened at times,but he trusted his cute kitty.Never even in her dreams could she imagine of causing any harm to her mate..this the rabbit knew well..They grew up spending happy jolly days together..bonded with love..they were always there with each other.Time went by..they grew up..a white rabbit with shallow pink eyes...a cute white spotless cat..the rabbit was quiet..the cat was chirpy..the rabbit was shy..the cat was brave..the rabbit was wise and the cat trusted his wisdom..the cat was naive and the rabbit trusted her innocence..They were incomplete without each other..they were complimentary to each other..
One sad and gloomy day the rabbit's mother died...for the very first time the cat saw tears in her friend's eyes.She understood that she could no longer afford to be kiddish..she had to be a friend as well as a loving and caring mom at times..The rabbit was in despair..he loved his mom like any other kid does..he was quiet..he wrapped himself with more silence...
The cat saw him through all these phases in life..and she understood in her heart..that her friend has lost so much..such a big loss...she had to be the best friend ever and give him all the love of the universe.
Finally the rabbit's clan decided to separate them for ever...Ages back they had had bad experiences with the cats..so they thought that cats are not good to be made friends with... :(
The rabbit pleaded..tried his best to convince that his friend was sooo good to him..she had such a nice heart..but there was no one to listen...The rabbit's family took him away with them to a different place..away from the cat..they were never meant to see each other again :(
The cat roamed about lonely in the places where she used to wander about with her best friend..Days turned into months,months to years..and they never met again...Destiny had separated them from each other.. :(

Now, my dear friends....tell me frankly how many of you related the cat and the rabbit to yourself and some dear friend whom you lost forever?And be true..you must have kept yourself in the place of the kitten..right?The one whose friend left her and went away...My dear friends..there is a famous saying in hindi "Dunia mein bahut gham hai..apna gham fir bhi kam hai".
The cat is sad...thats one part of the story..but did anyone care to think about the rabbit?Neither did his clan nor did you..all your sympathies went with the cat...right?
Try to look at the other side of the story..what happened to the rabbit?His clan did not care about him...separated him from his best buddy and thereafter till he lived,he had to live without his friend whom he loved equally..the cat could sit by her mom and tell how much she missed the rabbit..but to whom would the rabbit talk?
So,my dear friends...if ever you find yourself to be the cat...don't forget that wherever your rabbit is...he/she misses you equally..perhaps much more..rather than cursing destiny to have separated you,pray to God for your best buddy's happiness...Love and care have no bounds..no limits...let your love flow in the air and reach to your rabbit..He needs it more than you do...